Field of Weeds

I drove up to our lake house to get away for a couple days, and to do the routine mowing, trimming, bug spraying, etc. I always look forward to my visits there. It is in a tiny town on a tiny private lake, very quiet, slow paced, and relaxing. When I arrived just an hour or so before sunset I looked across our yard and our adjoining property to see what could only be described as a “Field of Weeds.” I assume you have heard of the movie “Field of Dreams”, in which, Kevin Costner plays the role of a man with a vision to build a baseball field out in the middle of nowhere. This dream came to him when he is visited by Ray Liotta who plays the role of the late Babe Ruth (I think) who visits Kevin and tells him “if you build it, they will come.” By the way, Ray Liotta scares the heck out of me, especially when he laughs. There is something about the intensity in his eyes and the tension in his face, particularly when he laughs. Some people are scared of clowns, I’m scared of Ray Liotta. I’m straying from the point.

Getting back to our lake property, as I looked across the property I see that the entire one acre area is covered with what I call “speargrass”. The speargrass is waist high so walking anywhere on the property results in collecting multiple “spears” in my clothing. When I was young, my friends and I would remove the spears and throw them at each other, which was fun because they flew very straight and stuck in the target easily. We could never get them to stick into someone’s skin, it would just stick to clothing. Okay, I’m straying again.


As I unloaded the car and surveyed the “field” I concluded that I would be spending more time than expected doing the mowing. Speargrass is difficult to mow. It is wiry and tough, and tends to just get bent over. To make sure I’m actually cutting it rather than bending it over, I have to set the transmission to a lower speed so the blades have more time to cut. If I run at the normal speeds I just end up flattening all the weeds, which is great when I’m making crop circles but not when I’m mowing the property. It was no “Field of Dreams,” and I knew that if I mowed them, they would come…back.


Mowing, particularly when using the lawn tractor, is actually pretty relaxing “work.” While mowing I tend to think, mull things over, and philosophy. As I make two and three passes over certain sections to finally cut the weeds down I’m thinking, “weeds happen” deal with them, but don’t agonize and fret and complain. This is a problem I have suffered with for most of my life, not actual weeds, but the “weeds” that show up in my life. The weeds I’m referring to are conflicts in the workplace, harmful and hurtful actions done to me by others, difficulties in relationships, unfulfilled needs and desires, unrealistic expectations placed upon me by others and myself, tiring and seemingly endless work to pay the bills, and stuff just wearing out and breaking. I probably don’t have any more “weeds” in my life than most people, in fact, my “weeds” are nothing compared to what many people in the world have to deal with. My problem is with my focus. I focus and fret and agonize over the weeds when I should be focusing on the dreams (vision) that God has placed in my mind and heart.

I work hard at everything, and I put a lot of energy into pursuing the dreams I have of serving God through a full time media ministry, and actually creating the ministry rather than just working in one. My focus has been detrimental to this pursuit. My focus all my life has been on the weeds, the negatives, and that has resulted in an unhealthy level of pessimism and cynicism. A little of those “isms” is beneficial because it instills some necessary caution, but too much drains my energy, steals my joy, diminishes my vigor, damages my health, and so on. Based on some feedback I have had over the years I think that my focus on the weeds and the resulting pessimism has mutated the natural drive, energy and enthusiasm into an intensity and tension that makes me difficult to be around; and maybe a little scary. But not as scary as Ray Liotta! I’m in my early 50;s, but it was only about 8-10 months ago that I realized this. Unbelievable! I read the book “Learned Optimism” and it was eye-opening. I also read “Every Day a Friday” and “How to be a Winner” and they each helped me to understand my struggles. So, for the last several months I have been re-programming my thinking. I only give the weeds the time needed to attend to them, then I spend as much mental energy as possible on the positive side of life. When I am realistic about it, and when I recall the truth in Romans 8:28, even the weeds and the time I spend “weeding” results in something good. I have a ways to go with the re-programming, because old habits die hard (and die hard 2-die harder, and die-hard 3). I have again strayed from the point. My point is, I'm seeing benefits of the re-programming, though it is not 100% complete.


I love it when I hit a patch of wild onions with the lawn tractor and the whole area is filled with an aroma similar to an Italian kitchen. I’ve strayed again. To conclude this long-winded rambling blog, I want to simply share something that is probably so obvious and automatic to many people, but not to me. There is so much more good stuff in my life, and good stuff to be done, than the difficulties I have to deal with. Dealing with the difficulties is actually “good” because God uses those to improve me and others in my life. And, if I keep my focus away from weeds, I will have the joy, the energy, and the drive to do the good stuff that God has planned for me, see Ephesians 2:10.

Okay, I’ve mowed and trimmed and used the blower to clean all the walkways, and I’ve finished this blog. Now its time sit back, relax, enjoy the beautiful weather; or maybe I’ll go make some crop circles.