Dragonfly Perspective

I occasionally go through time periods when I get angry with my circumstances, sometimes to the point of being angry with God. I’m actually pretty irreverent, hollering and yelling, literally. I’m not proud to admit that, but that is just the way it is. God hasn’t struck me dead for it, yet. I don’t mean to test His patience or try my luck, it is just that I sometimes go through periods when I lose hope, and lose my belief that He really even knows I exist, much less cares about my life. I realize that my tantrums are like a 2-year-old, in the corner, screaming and crying that their world is coming to end because the toy they have is the wrong color. That is probably how I look from His perspective. Maybe, maybe not.

Don’t get me wrong, by most measures I am living a great life, but, something is missing here.

I was in a grocery store a few years back. Just ahead of me were a mother and her child. The child, probably not more than 8-10 months old, was in the child’s seat in the shopping cart. His mom was busy unloading the contents of the cart on to the cashier’s counter. The little boy was struggling to reach his pacifier when he slowly just fell over. He bumped his head ever so slightly but fell so far that he was just wedged there, head against this cage he was in. He could not upright himself. He slowly began to cry. It was a cry of sadness, helplessness and hopelessness. Not the cry of an angry child, but one who was in a fix, and saw no way out. His world was coming to an end. All hope was lost. From his perspective, life would never be good again.

Dragonflies have always fascinated me. They are like little helicopters (actually they were designed well before helicopters). They can fly very fast, then just stop and hover. Often I will be fishing when a dragonfly zooms by me then lands on my bobber floating in the water. When I float in the lake dragonflies often hover over and land on my float, take a break, and then buzz away. They look so cool though, but sometimes a bit scary to younger children. I understand some children’s fear, because there are some parents that tell young kids that if dragonflies hear them say a bad word that the dragonflies will sew the kid’s lips shut! I know what you are thinking, but no, I did not make that one up.

I was relaxing on my pier today and something in the water caught my attention. I saw something disturbing the surface of the water. It was a dragonfly, trying to shake its wings dry enough to launch out of the water. I see dragonflies all the time at the lake. They buzz along and take quick (very quick) dips into the water to get a drink. They even do this when they are joined to another dragonfly, in dragonfly matrimony I suppose. They drop down then almost bounce off the water. I understand the urgency, lingering at the water’s surface increases the risk of becoming a fish snack. So, I watch this dragonfly for a few moments. He either was sick and could no longer fly or he mis-judged his water approach and got water logged. Considering how vigorously he was flapping his wings, he was healthy. I didn’t want to just sit there and watch him get eaten, so I got into the water on a float and paddled over to him. At water level I could not see his profile clearly. I was scanning the water waiting to see the disturbance from his wings. I saw nothing. It took me awhile to locate him and when I did he wasn’t moving anymore, just floating, helpless, hopeless. As I lifted him out of the water with my hand I could see that he was still very alive, just tired. I placed him on the pier so he could let his wings dry and regain his strength. He didn’t even move for about 10 minutes. He just remained still while the wind dried his wings. I wondered what was going through his dragonfly mind. Did he have any comprehension of what my hand was when I lifted him out of the water? Did he even know I was a few feet away, close enough that a bird would not come and eat him? Did he comprehend why he was safely resting and drying? I doubt it. He started doing the cleaning thing that insects do. His wings were fluttering from even the slightest breeze now, so they were dry. I got a few photos during this process. I decided to see if I could pick him up for a photo. I placed my finger in front of him, and he just climbed on. I thought he would back up or fly away, but he actually climbed onto my finger without prompting. Did he somehow comprehend that I was a friend and not a foe? He obviously knew I existed otherwise he would not have moved when I placed my finger in front of him, but did he understand what was going on?

The woman quickly put down her handful of baby food and lovingly up-righted her son, gave him his pacifier and consoled him. It was less than a minute from the time when he fell over to the point she picked him up. To him, it was probably an eternity.

When I was satisfied that I had gotten a good photo, I moved to place the dragonfly back on to the pier. Just after I lowered my camera, and before I began to kneel to place him on the pier he launched from my finger and headed for the trees. I think I heard him say “thanks dude” in a high squeaky dragonfly voice as he flew off. Okay, I made that up, he didn’t even look back. I never claimed that dragonflies were grateful.

I don’t even see or appreciate that God’s hand is protecting me, because I am so limited in my understanding. I know about as much about God’s plans, what is happening around me, and the world He created as that dragonfly understands why he didn’t drown today, or become fish dinner. I am stuck in my predicament, helpless and crying (metaphorically of course) with my head stuck in this cage wondering what is taking God so long to up-right me because I know I can’t do it myself.



God has lifted me out of my drowning state, he is fascinated by me, he works tirelessly to provide, and even has to stop in the middle of getting my provisions to pick me up because I’m stuck, or just too tired to flap my wings any longer.

KTF

I was packing for my trip today, listening to a radio station that plays both kinds of music, Country AND Western (1), when one of my favorite songs came on, "Live like you were dying." I also came across Ephesians 4:31-32, which instructs us to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving. It got me to thinking more on the topic of living a theme. In the song, the singer states that he became the kind of friend that a friend should be, and that he gave forgiveness that he had been denying. He also rode a bull and went sky-diving, but that deviates a bit from my point here. The song and the Bible verse brought something else to my mind. In church a few weeks back the rhetorical question was posed; “Where are you building your house, on earth or in heaven?” This question also fits somewhat with the question, "What would you want said at your eulogy? Or written on your tombstone?"

Hmmm, so perhaps answering questions such as these can help to define and refine my theme. This thought process led me to ask myself another question. Yes, I am sometimes accused of  “over-thinking” things, whatever that means. Here is the question, and some possible answers that popped into my over-analytical but small mind:
What would my last actions be if this were my last day? Would I engage every opportunity for a conflict or argument, and play to win? I wonder about that sometimes, that maybe I should be more assertive, make sure I get my way. Would I go about settling old scores, exacting revenge for past mistreatment or injustices? Sometimes it bugs me when I think people get away with taking advantage of others. Would I work as hard as I could to accomplish as much as possible in hopes of achieving something noteworthy in my few remaining hours? If my past and current behavior are any indication, that is exactly what I would do. However when I put these options up against the measure of scripture I realize “assert thyself” and “revenge is yours, the Lord is too busy,” and “work ceaselessly to accomplish great works to impress your fellow man” are only in my personal “marked up” version of the Bible. Do I really want my tombstone to read “worked most weekends, won some arguments, died with money in the bank, and kept his car waxed.”

I can only conclude that if I truly, deep down understood that my days are numbered, and I truly believed that God’s instructions for living are in everyone’s best interest, I would realign my priorities. My overall theme would have a different tune, and a different cadence.

So I would like to think I would make any apologies that are due, give people more attention than I give my tasks, and encourage and build up people. I would like to think I would appreciate more all the blessings in my life, and complain less. Maybe instead of buying a boat I would donate the money to build a church or support a ministry. I would like to think I would stop my work a bit early and make phone calls to family and friends. These are just a few applications of me putting people above tasks or achievement, putting my relationship with God above my own plans, of being kind and forgiving rather than assertive and vindictive, and building treasures in Heaven rather than accumulations on earth. So, since I don’t know my last day, and I know these examples I’ve just listed are representative of a Biblical theme for living that I wish to emulate, what is stopping me?

The photos here have no direct relevance to the topic, just snapshots I’ve taken in the last few months that represent the environment I live and work in. The last photo was taken just before my meeting with the Director of Technical Services at Universal Studios. God's hand has carried me to a point where I may soon be using my talents, training and background in the entertainment industry. I have a shot at fixing part of the Jurassic Park ride (the ride is safe, don't worry). If I can lead our team to do that well, we will be very busy with other projects.

Footnotes:
1. Classic line from the bartender in a scene in the “Blues Brothers” movie