Special, Like Everyone Else

I saw a T-shirt some years back that had the statement on it “You’re Special, Just Like Everyone Else!” It was intended to be humorous in a sarcastic way, but there is a lot of truth revealed in that statement.

I know the pursuits and desires of men and women differ, but I think all people want to believe they are special in some way. I am writing this from a man’s perspective, since that is the only perspective I have. I hope the points I bring up here have some application for women as well.

 It is clear to me that most men want to be recognized for their accomplishments. This trait becomes evident at a very young age. How many boys do stupid stunts on their bicycles or on the gym in the playground to get the attention of young girls and respect of the other boys? Later in life we move on to other feats to prove our physical prowess, if we have the ability. If we don’t have the physical abilities to excel in sports, we prove ourselves through academics or the arts. If we don’t have physical, academic, nor artistic abilities we become troublemakers. I was a short skinny kid, near-sighted in one eye, far-sighted in other. My lack of depth perception made it very difficult for me to catch or accurately throw a baseball. To this day I can throw a rock at almost anything, and miss. So, as you can guess, I pursued the arts, and academics rather than sports. As us men grow older we still want to be recognized, through sports, business accomplishments, the ability to attract beautiful women, our artistic or academic achievements, our excellent family raising skills, or for our criminal activities. One way or another, we want to be noticed. We want to be seen as special. We want to have an impact, either positive or negative.

Where does this desire to be seen as special come from? Is it just human pride? I think there is more to it than simple human pride. According to Matthew 10:29-31, we are very valuable to God, in a very unique way. He has numbered the hairs on our head. That requires very detailed knowledge, and very close attention, to each of us! It goes without saying that since we were created in His image, after His likeness (Genesis 1:26) that we are quite special. God’s knowledge of each of us began before we were conceived (Psalm 139:13, Jeremiah 1:5). We were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). What does “fearfully” mean in this context? Was God afraid He might make a mistake? I don’t think so. I think it may mean that God understood the significance of His creation of every single one of us. He had a great respect for each of us as he made His plans for us and created us. These truths are deeply ingrained within us, and reinforced through His words to us in the Holy Bible. I believe we seek to get validation of these truths during the course of our life. It seems to me that all our attempts to make an impact, to stand out, are our attempts to validate these truths. We want evidence that we are special.

But if all of us are “special” then doesn’t that mean that none of us are special? No two people are identical, even identical twins are not truly identical. So in that sense we are each special, like how each snowflake is different and therefore “special.” But just the fact that we are different does not fulfill our desire to be special. It falls far short of validating what the Bible says about us, and what I believe God has imprinted upon each of us. We don’t just want to be different, we want to be the best, at least the best at something.

I believe God created each one of us to fulfill a unique role in His plans for the human race, and creation in general. I also believe that He created every one of us to fulfill a unique relationship with Him. That is why He numbered our hairs, that is why he knew each of us before we were conceived, and that he created each one of us with reverence. It is beyond my comprehension that God can have so many “best friends,” “most valuable players,” or “very important persons” since I always have favorites. We each have a different role to fulfill, and each of us is uniquely qualified to fulfill it. No one else can satisfy the relationship needs and achieve the objectives that God has in mind for each of us. I expect in addition to our relationship with Him, we have relationships with others on earth that we are uniquely qualified to fulfill. We are the best at doing what we were put here to do, no one else can do what God specifically has designed us to do.



Finding validation of our uniqueness is something that we may not achieve during our lifetime. Living in a fallen world means that the consequences of sin tend to overshadow and blot out the truths that God wants for us to realize in our daily activities. Relying upon tangible accomplishments or the feedback from other are not reliable measures. We control only a fraction of what it takes to accomplish goals. People’s opinions are not necessarily objective. I think the only thing I can do is believe, truly, deeply believe, that as long as I honestly pursue His plan for me that I will be doing those special and unique things He created me to do. It will probably only be when I’m in Heaven that I will see what makes me stand out. There is a movie, “The Five People You Meet in Heaven.” It was about a maintenance man who believed he lived a completely ordinary and unimportant life. It turns out that he meets people in Heaven that show him the wonderful impact he had on the lives of many people.
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If I believe I have a unique purpose, and I pursue His will, then I’m certain my life will produce good fruit, even if I don’t get to see or taste it until I leave this earth.

The photos are several I have taken here at the lake, attempting to catch the beauty and serenity and share it with others.

KTF

I was packing for my trip today, listening to a radio station that plays both kinds of music, Country AND Western (1), when one of my favorite songs came on, "Live like you were dying." I also came across Ephesians 4:31-32, which instructs us to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving. It got me to thinking more on the topic of living a theme. In the song, the singer states that he became the kind of friend that a friend should be, and that he gave forgiveness that he had been denying. He also rode a bull and went sky-diving, but that deviates a bit from my point here. The song and the Bible verse brought something else to my mind. In church a few weeks back the rhetorical question was posed; “Where are you building your house, on earth or in heaven?” This question also fits somewhat with the question, "What would you want said at your eulogy? Or written on your tombstone?"

Hmmm, so perhaps answering questions such as these can help to define and refine my theme. This thought process led me to ask myself another question. Yes, I am sometimes accused of  “over-thinking” things, whatever that means. Here is the question, and some possible answers that popped into my over-analytical but small mind:
What would my last actions be if this were my last day? Would I engage every opportunity for a conflict or argument, and play to win? I wonder about that sometimes, that maybe I should be more assertive, make sure I get my way. Would I go about settling old scores, exacting revenge for past mistreatment or injustices? Sometimes it bugs me when I think people get away with taking advantage of others. Would I work as hard as I could to accomplish as much as possible in hopes of achieving something noteworthy in my few remaining hours? If my past and current behavior are any indication, that is exactly what I would do. However when I put these options up against the measure of scripture I realize “assert thyself” and “revenge is yours, the Lord is too busy,” and “work ceaselessly to accomplish great works to impress your fellow man” are only in my personal “marked up” version of the Bible. Do I really want my tombstone to read “worked most weekends, won some arguments, died with money in the bank, and kept his car waxed.”

I can only conclude that if I truly, deep down understood that my days are numbered, and I truly believed that God’s instructions for living are in everyone’s best interest, I would realign my priorities. My overall theme would have a different tune, and a different cadence.

So I would like to think I would make any apologies that are due, give people more attention than I give my tasks, and encourage and build up people. I would like to think I would appreciate more all the blessings in my life, and complain less. Maybe instead of buying a boat I would donate the money to build a church or support a ministry. I would like to think I would stop my work a bit early and make phone calls to family and friends. These are just a few applications of me putting people above tasks or achievement, putting my relationship with God above my own plans, of being kind and forgiving rather than assertive and vindictive, and building treasures in Heaven rather than accumulations on earth. So, since I don’t know my last day, and I know these examples I’ve just listed are representative of a Biblical theme for living that I wish to emulate, what is stopping me?

The photos here have no direct relevance to the topic, just snapshots I’ve taken in the last few months that represent the environment I live and work in. The last photo was taken just before my meeting with the Director of Technical Services at Universal Studios. God's hand has carried me to a point where I may soon be using my talents, training and background in the entertainment industry. I have a shot at fixing part of the Jurassic Park ride (the ride is safe, don't worry). If I can lead our team to do that well, we will be very busy with other projects.

Footnotes:
1. Classic line from the bartender in a scene in the “Blues Brothers” movie

Theme Song

I have been giving more thought to the subject of my theme. I can’t think of that word without remembering the movie “A Christmas Story.” In one scene, the teacher thinks up the worst punishment imaginable for the students, she makes them write (dramatic pause) “a theme.” I now understand the punishment better, as I am having a very difficult time coming up with my “theme” and writing about it.

As I wrote about this before I began to realize that I didn’t actually understand the meaning of “theme.” I understand rules, operating principles, and beliefs but what exactly is a theme? In older movies, and in cartoons, certain characters have a theme song that plays when they enter the scene. The villian has a foreboding theme song, the comic sidekick has some kind of goofy playful theme song. People decorate rooms based on a theme. Many amusement parks are built around a theme (theme parks). I looked up the definition, and even that was a bit vague, and the definitions varied. It is a specific quality or characteristic, and it has a unifying effect. As I mull it over, theme as it applies to a person is similar to motive. It is not the same, but it is similar.

I stopped typing and picked up the Bible, looking for the verse that states the God weighs our motives. I did not find it, and I knew I was not supposed to cheat and use my notes or an online searchable Bible. So I looked and read and this jumped out at me, the second part of the 9th verse of the 12th chapter of Romans:

1. Abhor what is evil. 

2. Cling to what is good.

If my theme for living were to just be made up of those two characteristics, I would expect a pretty good outcome. The advantage of pursuing a theme rather than a dream or goal is that I can actually achieve it despite my environment, current circumstances or future events. Pursuing a proper theme should lead to the best goals. There are numerous verses in the Bible where Jesus gives direction on how to live, I don’t know of any where he specifies what to achieve. I remember a statement I have read in many books on self-improvement, “you are where you are today because of the choices you made yesterday.” There is a lot of truth to that, but a lot of our future is out of our control. Trying to pick a specific outcome or goal for the future is not as simple as planning and carrying out a trip to, your favorite theme park. Our destination in life can vary wildly from what we planned because there are far too many variables beyond our control as we navigate through life in pursuit of happiness, wealth, fame, retirement, and whatever other goals we typically consider worthy.

I decided to back up and read the earlier verses in the 12th chapter of Romans, to understand the context. What is being said here is that we have each received gifts and we are to use them to minister. Furthermore we are to love without hypocrisy, abhor evil and cling to what is good. Love without hypocrisy? Does that mean that we are to be genuine in the way we demonstrate our love for others? The actual verse reads “Let love be without hypocrisy.” Maybe, true love is demonstrated when a person is genuine, not a poser, not wearing a mask, not saying one thing and doing another. I have to confess, I don’t have a lot of love for fake people. I guess you could say I abhor hypocrisy and duplicity. Did you catch that? I just admitted that I have a hard time loving people if I abhor their behavior. That is a tough one.

So I ask myself, if I were in a movie or a cartoon, what would the theme song sound like when I entered the scene? Would it be an ambling, aimless, laid back song? Definitely not. Would it be foreboding and menacing? I certainly hope not. Would it be the theme song of the tough, confident, invincible hero, like in the Clint Eastwood westerns? I wish. Or would it be like the theme song for the comic sidekick? I am starting to think so. Actually, I don’t think most non-fictional people can be summed up in one theme song, though someone has suggested that my theme song could be “oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble, when you’re perfect in every way.” They were kidding of course. Yes they were.

The images you see in this post are random photographs I have taken lately, no unifying theme here.The last one is just after a test of a couple cranes for an offshore rig. I grabbed the controls and acted like a kid playing with his new toy just before he snapped the photo, to get a laugh out of the team there.