Teaching Cats to Bark

I just got back onshore, we completed load testing of the equipment. Whew! That is a huge relief. There is still work to be done to tie up the loose ends of the project, but the critical milestone has been achieved. I have lived through worse nightmares, but this one was difficult enough. I was trying to commission equipment that the rig crew did not want, using their crew (thus taking them away from their normal duties). The majority of the crew members had almost no understanding of the equipment, and were not trained nor qualified to do the work that had to be done. I had workers who welded for a living trying to assemble and adjust complex machinery. I had workers who painted for a living trying to install control lines for a complex crane control system. Most of the work had to be conducted 20-30 feet above deck. Oh, and 99% of the workers spoke no English. And none of the workers would look at any of my drawings or written instructions, which detailed the work to be done. To summarize, I had to orchestrate a difficult job under very difficult, almost absurd circumstances.

This brings me to the meaning behind title of this post. From getting the equipment fabricated, assembled and partially tested onshore, to its final testing offshore, I have felt like this project was as difficult as teaching cats to bark. I have been working with very good, well meaning and hard working people. But, by necessity, I have been directing them to do things that are incredibly unfamiliar to them. Between the language and culture differences, and the huge gap between their training/background and the tasks assigned to them, it is nothing short of a miracle that the project was completed at all. I learned a lot from this experience.

First, I will do what I reasonably can to avoid another situation where we conduct the project under absurd conditions. Second, I have to keep my expectations within reason. If I am in a situation where I am expected to “teach cats to bark,” I have to expect progress to be slow, and difficult, and not let that get me down. For example, if someone asks me to paint their house, then hands me a toothbrush, I can’t expect to finish that job in one day. Third, I need to pay closer attention to what people are capable of before setting goals for them. When I inadvertently task them with something beyond their capability, I set them up to fail, and that gets them down. Fourth, I can’t teach cats to bark. They won’t do it, ever. There are some things that will just never happen no matter how much energy I pour into them. I need to recognize those situations and not wear myself down trying to make the impossible happen.

God has interesting methods of growing me up.

The photo is of one of the cranes lifting a 3,000 lb load. We tested up to 11,400 lb.

This has been a boring post. The next one will be funny.

A Cure for the Blues

I decided to have a big breakfast today, since I would be missing lunch due to the helicopter flight schedule out to the rig. I went downstairs to the hotel restaurant and filled my plate with my normal selections; fruit, egg omelet, bacon, and boiled rice with dried fish. At these large Asian breakfast buffets they cover a large range of food, in an attempt to satisfy the variety of people from around the world that visit the hotel. Typically they have American, Chinese and Japanese foods as a minimum.

I noticed that a sadness had crept up on me over the past couple days. This morning I was really feeling the weight of sadness on me. I had been trying to understand the source. Was it being away from my home and family for so much this year, the pressures of an overseas project dragging on too long, the stress of language and cultural differences built up over most of this year, or maybe was I just a big baby?

I did not understand it, but I was just feeling down. As I sipped my coffee I asked God to reveal to me the source, or just take it away (if that was His will), but to somehow give me a little something.

As I got up to get some more food, I saw something that just might do the trick at lifting my spirits. There were small bowls filled with “food” that caught my eye. It appeared to be a hard-boiled egg that had been left out long enough to turn brown and rot, pieces of some kind of meat, bits of green vegetable-like stuff, all resting on a bed of white goo. I read the label and it turned out to be “boiled egg, with tofu and boiled rice noodle, with pig entrails.” My first thought was “I got to get me some of that!” Just kidding, it was actually something like “huh? That sounds gross.” I walked on, looking for more palatable fare, then I thought “Ray, you take life too seriously sometimes, that is one of the reasons you have this sadness.” Then I thought, “what the heck, you only live once, might as well grab all the pig entrails you can!”

So, with a new vigor to my step I confidently grabbed a bowl and went back to my table to try out this new culinary delight. I sampled the various bits and pieces, trying them individually, then in combinations to experience the various textures and contrasting flavors together. In summary, I would have to say if you ever come across the opportunity to taste this dish, keep on moving, don’t eat it. It was one of the most horrible foods I have ever eaten. The bowl was sitting out, so the “food” was at room temperature, theoretically, but I swear it was below room temperature. Having the goo, egg and entrails at a low temperature added that little extra touch of “gross” to perfect the dish.

So how to end this post? Oh, yeah, my sadness has been displaced with perplexity. Why would anyone create such a dish? Is it perhaps just a joke on Americans? Hmmm. I did notice the girl behind the counter smiled and giggled a bit when I grabbed my bowl. Oh, no, now I’m getting paranoid.

All Thai'd Up

I forgot to mention in my last post that it is great to see my friends here in Thailand again. The first photo is the view from the restaurant we ate in just after I got off the rig. Excellent food, excellent view, excellent friends.

There has been some degree of pressure, I am responsible for the final stages of a project for a major oil company that was started about one year ago. They have poured a lot of money and effort into this, but not yet received any of the benefits of this new equipment. Everyone is getting anxious.

The second photo is a shot of the drilling rig derrick, with one of the jack-up legs in the foreground. Steel, bearings, structures, machines, grease… that is my life-or at least a considerable portion of it. That brings me to another point, I really miss my family. I have been away from them for about 80% of this year so far. I’m ready to spend some time with them, but that will have to wait just a little longer.

Since I hit the ground I have had so many career-related opportunities poured out that it is like drinking from a fire hydrant. I am very blessed. I know that God has orchestrated this. The opportunities for both the engineering and movie producing portions of my career are abundant. It has not all gone according to plan (my plan, that is) but I am fairly certain that this is all going according to His plan. Since 1995 I have been handing over my career to God’s will. It has been a step-by-step process. As I look back I see how He has been growing, shaping, teaching and preparing me to do the works He has planned for me. It is good. I admit that not having a crystal clear, precise “business plan” for my career is somewhat uncomfortable, it gives Him room to steer me the right way.

I think I will be Thai’d up with work for awhile.

I’m working on another post, I believe it will be titled “Teaching Cats to Bark.” This one will take awhile, it summarizes what God has been trying to get into my thick skull for about, 47 years.

The last photo is an artsy view of a jack-up leg. This is used to lift the whole rig up out of the water. Pinion gears engage the big rack teeth seen in the photo, it is like the rack-and-pinion steering on your car, but much bigger.

Offshore Again

I'm offshore again, this time for more than just a day trip. I have to stay here until the equipment I designed is commissioned. The longer I am here, the more I get in the way of the normal drilling operations, and that costs money. I am on a drilling rig which is referred to as a "Jack Up Rig." It is designed for shallow water, around 500-700 feet deep. They move this rig into position over a drilling platform and then push three legs down until they contact the seabed, then the rig is jacked up on these legs until is clear of the water. Then they start drilling holes in the earth.

The first photo is an eye-level view of the top drive. It is the drill than turns the drill pipe to make the hole. Last night they drilled down to about 1,300 feet, not counting the 500 foot water depth. That is a very, very long drill bit (but not for a drilling rig). It is a remarkable operation to observe. Rough, dirty, somewhat dangerous, but still quite remarkable. I talked to the mud engineer today during lunch. He is a nice fellow from Russia. Mud is a special combination of compounds that is monitored and adjusted throughout the drilling operation. I asked him about the primary function of the mud, here is a summary:
1. It lubricates the drill bit
2. It float cuttings and other debris out of the hole
3. It helps prevent the walls of the hole from caving in
4. It is sometimes used to run a “mud motor” used for certain types of drilling
5. And it does some other stuff I didn’t understand.

The whole operation of drilling an oilwell has so many specialized pieces of equipment and specialized processes that it amazes me that anyone ever figured out how to get oil out of the ground. I have been designing some of the specialized equipment for many years, but I still only know very little about the whole operation. Every time I go out to a rig I am reminded that I don’t know how much I don’t know.


The second photo is a view looking down from the place in the derrick I had to climb to, to get the first photo. I climbed up one long vertical ladder, about 120 feet. It seems higher when you're up there. Look close, you can see three men on the drill floor. They have orange suits and white hard hats.

Oh, by the way, it is not like living onboard a cruise ship. In fact, the conditions are usually not that great, but the crew always makes the best of it and tries to make the stay here as pleasant as possible. I’m grateful for that. I hope to leave in four days, making my offshore stay a total of 8 days, which is enough for me.

Teamwork

I'm here in Scotland on a project with a team made up of people from various parts of the world, each having specific areas of expertise. We're all engineers of some discipline, with several people having advanced degrees (not me). Each one was picked to cover the various different aspects of the project, involving the service life of an FPSO (anchored boat that sucks oil out of the seabed). These folks are smart, they have a lot of experience, and they know what they are doing. I've worked along with people having these qualification before, but these people are different. They aren't arrogant or annoying at all, in fact, they are a lot of fun. They don't seem to be trying to make themselves sound smart, or try to prove their worth, or trying to "one up" the others in the group. Wow is that refreshing! I'm really enjoying working with these folks. When I shut my mouth and listen, I learn a lot from each of them.

The two men who have coordinated all the activities/meetings/work schedules while we are here are incredibly organized and accomodating. This may likely spoil me for any other work.









The photos are of the team visiting the Castle Fraser, the team onboard the FPSO just before boarding the helicopter to leave, and the view of the FPSO from the helicopter.